Rather a Team Mate than a Contol Freak


When we looking for the right partner  you also want to find someone who listens, someone whose opinion you respect. You want someone who makes you laugh and who backs away from an argument before it turns into a nasty fight. You want someone who is not too stubborn to say, “I was wrong and you were right.” And you also must be that person who can admit when you wrong.

You want a teammate, not a control freak.

Yet it is that magic attraction  that you want most of all, and it is chemistry that makes the fights shorter and the relationship longer. Feeling sexual attraction and sexually attractive is a life force like nothing else. When our bodies are regularly stroked and our libido is ignited our outlook on life is hopeful and youthful, no matter how many birthdays we have had.

Sex IS AN IMPORTANT part party of a relationship. It’s keep the longevity of a relationship not buckets of money, not a partners family history , not even the edicts of religion.  Don’t defend a relationship because is “a comfort zone” or even because you don’t want to upset people around you or even your children. If you wanting to have sex outside of your relationship,  in my opinion it does not lead to a healthy outcome. I ask the question why you still with your partner/spouse?

Make sure you pick someone that makes you tingle at his or her touch. Figure this out before you move in together, start planning the wedding and the party.

Sex does not get better with time if you never had the spark in the first place. Realtionsips means mortgages/bank loans, dealing with icky in-laws, Accepting each other’s friends and families, getting older and larger. This does not make for a hot climate for sexual re-awakening if an initial physical attraction was never their to start with. When you with someone take some time to look after yourself, get your hair cut, go to gym, look your best and I think your self esteem will get a boost as well.

Chemistry is that magical ingredient that draws two people together and holds them together when things get tough, which they inevitably do. You cannot invent chemistry. It is either there or not there, a force of nature not of your own will. With a healthy sex life comes other good things, a sense of natural ease and good communication. It’s not the only ingredient but it’s a huge part of any foundation for a relationship. I am not referring to sex only but how one persons whole character and  presence just captures you and your only.


10 thoughts on “Rather a Team Mate than a Contol Freak

  1. Ivan, you summed it all up beautifully. Perfect ingredients for surviving all the “ups” and “downs” that life frequently throws in our path. Thank you for your wisdom and your truth. Naked hugs!

  2. I’ve learned a lot after reading thoroughly this post and I love it. Thank you so much Ivan. I and my partner have this “ups” and “down” and I’m trying to lessen the arguments as I want it to work out. Reading this article just gives me some light. Hugs :*

      1. That’s true. Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. But sometimes here’s really ups and down that would compromise everything. Furthermore, what matters most is that you’re having fun spending time together and of course having sex is what makes it more interesting.
        – ERIC

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