The way I see dating APPS.

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So let me explain how I got to wanting to write this. I woke up just after 3:30am on Saturday morning, our one cat woke me as she decided it was play time. So I went and sat in the TV lounge so I did not wake William and read. Last night I took a sleeping pill and it has the reverse effect, I was wide awake so I read again until about 4:am this morning. . I have been reading lots of blogs and also some of my other favourite news, entertainment, how-to, etc sites.

For the record, I am a gay man, 37, and have been in a relationship for 14 years now. (Monogamous) My partner William is 34, and we are not married, but a are legally partners, spouses  and all those legal contracts are signed and sealed. William is a sober alcoholic of 9 years and we did meet online.  Our relationship has not always been an easy road, but that is true of ALL relationships.

Given my age, and circumstances I am not familiar with any of these dating apps. I do not use them or profess to be a relationship expert, all I can say after reading people’s stories, dating today is tough.  Got me thinking if with any app, we changing society in general, well a huge part of the population use an app in some form. UBER, online banking, Facebook, Twitter, email, find your friends, locate your iPhone, boarding passes for travel. Our lives have changed dramatically in the last 5-10 years. All thanks to smart phone, tablets, apps need I go on.

now with online dating apps, is this not just an app so people can get sex, without those awkward  first dates. And then the need for second dates is actually redundant. Or with some match direct access to dating we failing commitments and challenges in forming relationships with others. I am taking specifically about the Gay dating world.    They way I see it, I would be incredible awkward  if I was single today. As a gay man these are my view on these apps, gay and straight.

Are apps not just for hookups!

Are apps taking away our social skills or talking, and giving us skills in texting, sexting!

Are apps are for longevity of ones immediate sexual needs, or for finding friends, lovers, partners for the long haul!

Are apps not candy coating life, you cannot swipe to the next part of your life, you have to be present for the good, bad, boring and the highs and lows. Life is a 24/7 app!

Are apps not cutting the crap of dating to a more real answer. You don’t waste time on people you know you have no future with.

Are apps not a sex test, you can’t check out compatibility and the “performance” up front. No bullshit here. Let’s be frank here,  sex does play an important part in any intimate relationship. So why not be open honest and upfront from the start.

Are apps just making me feel older!!!

Ivan


9 thoughts on “The way I see dating APPS.

  1. Are apps taking the romance of of our relationships? A very thought-provoking post Ivan Nice work. It’s a topic that we all should seriously consider. Naked hugs!

    1. Thank you. I work with a gay guy at work, and he had a long chat to me about his experiences. And that’s were I got the idea. And it’s not just dating apps, we now text everybody, email, use acronyms the list goes on. Plus we have smiley faces to go with as well. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy this, but sometimes it just overwhelmed me. Take care. Ivan

  2. Since I have come out of a long term relationship of 11 years, I took a year to myself, before dating. I have luckily met people in person, which I much prefer. I have one guy I see, but is most times not sexual, and then there is the Lad, who I see much more often. I don’t think I’d be good at these new apps. Or I worry I will become addicted to the sex, which I have a high libido. So when the Lad is not around I either take matters into me own hands, so to speak, or he and I will have a hot phone or sex text, sometimes pictures. But some of these apps are nuts.Thankfully I have always lucked out with meeting guys out, or through other friends.

    1. And Ivan, your right about the social media thing. Society is becoming withdrawn and social retarded because of it. When out, whether it be a lounge or a restaurant, everybody is on their phone!!!!!!! And the dating apps are fine to meet, but then face to face, they have no idea what to say, because their so shy and nervous.

    2. Thank you for your comment. Great hearing your views, as always. It’s a changing world, and we must all embrace this. However still stay true to who me are I guess. Ivan.

  3. Yes to all of the above… sadly, the apps have taken over our lives and they’ve allowed people to be the worst version of themselves as it’s much easier (safer? less confrontational?) to reject someone online.. or to literally judge others.

    I hate the apps myself, but without them I probably wouldn’t meet as many guys as I do (and sadly that’s a VERY low number these days…) as the apps truly have taken away our abilities to actually be sociable towards each other.

    Sigh… can you tell I’m sick of the apps and the unintentional rejection when you just don’t get any messages or views? LOL

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