The Gay Beauty Culture!


There is  a gay beauty culture that tells us we’ll never look good enough (and this messes with our self-esteem).

Now this may sound very anti-gay, well it’s not. The way I see it, it’s actully saying something that we hate to admit is true in part of the whole gay culture with our people. Yes in your youth we all can be slightly obsessed with our looks. It’s about part of the path of discovery who we all are. However I must be honest that my experience in the gay culture of clubs, bars, pubs and other social interaction, I did feel I was being judged and did not make the A team.

I am not the 6 foot plus stud, I am short legged ( that phrase is from one of my favorite bloggers),  so I am not always in eye contact with others. We cannot all be those tall dark handsome stereotypes. So if I put on some weight it shows double. And yes I did feel I was not part of the in crowd. Maybe too much, maybe I overthought this all. And yes I did become very self conscious, still am.

The only difference now is that I am so much more comfortable with who I am. What I look like, my imperfections, and my good qualities that may not always be visual. Yes visual is how we judge people, and yes we do need to be well groomed and take care of ourselfs. But don’t be fooled that we must all look like the models, the billboard men, we not all the same.

Looks count, but longevity it’s a whole new journey. Be who you are not who you think you are not.



11 thoughts on “The Gay Beauty Culture!

  1. Good for you, Ivan! Great post. my friend. Those of us who are too superficial to realize that true beauty lies within usually end up alone, miserable and sad. Nice work! Naked hugs!

  2. Very well said, I think getting older we grow into ourselves, and what others say or think just isn’t that important anymore. Like me for who I am not what you want me to be

  3. Great post, When you’re not one of the muscle studs you can stand out from the crowd for all the wrong reasons. What do you think the biggest thing was that changed for you to move past your insecurities?

    1. My own independence where I I could rely on myself and had to make my own decisions. And then been a long term relationship does just make we a more completed person. Thanks for the great question. Ivan.

  4. Great post, my friend. I too have never fit into the general stereotype of the tall, dark, handsome man.. and has left me with the scars of my insecurity that I still struggle to get past to this day. I’ve always been the short chubby guy, and spent way too many years letting that get in the way of being the real me. It’s still something I struggle with now, but instead I now am more comfortable in my skin compared to when I was younger and slightly slimmer. It’s all an adventure and work in progress.. some just get lucky I guess.

    1. Thanks for the comment and for being so honest and real. Glad that you do not think like the younger you, that’s always a challenge in life. Not sure if looks are luck, looks may fade but the heart remains the same. Ivan.

  5. It’s one of my biggest regrets that I did not come out to myself or others until I was at mid-life. I missed out on so much. But I guess I missed out on a lot of heartbreak too.

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