The way I see it:

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The way I see it, is maybe my trademark, my brand or just my own unique view on life.

Last week William and myslef had a disagreement about some random, idiotic incident. Was completely unnecessary and yes I did play apart in this. Maybe I should have just kept quiet and my way is not the only way.

So this got me thinking about long term relationship and complacency.

When you get home and your cats or dogs get very excited to see you maybe demonstrates how we should be. We should be excited and grateful  that out partner has come home, greet them and listen to them. Make a damn effort as this will lead to how each day will be. You decide how to greet or be greeted when you get home.

Talk and listen, not necessarily at the same time. Vent your anger and have a rule that after a short period of time that’s it vent time is over, focus on the current. Be present and fight that negativity energy. All we need to do is listen, and I mean really listen to our partners, and they must listen and keep communicating. William can seriously irritate me when he is watching TV, that’s all he is engaging in at that moment.  Me on the other hand I have a a very close and bonding relationship ship with my iPad.

However that my be okay as we all need alone time even when you in a relationship. Shut the door and just have some alone time, it’s actully normal to sometimes do activities alone. I think the key to this is setting boundaries, Coupledom does not provide an escape from self-development. The truth is there is no effective long term escape from self-development. At any stage of life—even into your eighties and nineties—you need to keep growing in order to reach greater contentment.

We still individual and we need to keep our own identity as singular people and as a couple. We cannot live in the shadow of others or expect others to be mini me of who we are. Emotionally intimacy is very important when you been together for a good couple of years. That amazing way you can just be who you are without judgment or rejection. William tells me everything, he is very honest about everything. Now I belive that is due to him being an alcoholic but sober for 8 plus years. In the AA 12 step program,  their is no BS and the truth is only way to remain sober. That can have a good and a negative effect on me. It helps in my own growth as a person.

I have read about people who are in long term relationship ship and have little sex with each other, or have sex outside of this realtionship. To me it’s also BS, yes sex is greatly important and in any realtionship irrespective of the time you have been together. However intimacy is more important that just getting laid. If you get bored with your partners, do something different, sex at the end of the day may not be that successful when we tired, switch it up. Sometimes we need to just touch each, listen and do tasks around the home together this is intimacy in a completely different form. Now take it from me, the longer the realtionship the better the sex , that how I see it. And yes life happens in between but make time for your relationship to shut out the world so that your world can be taken care of.

 

TO THE WORLD YOU MAY BE ONE PERSON, BUT TO ONE PERSON YOU MAYBE THEIR WORLD.

 

IVAN

 


2 thoughts on “The way I see it:

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