I am being very absent from my blog, too absent.and it’s not due to laziness this time.
That dark cloud of depression has been hovering over me for a couple of weeks now. I am taking antidepressants, and I have suffered from this for most of my adult life. The good news is that I am dealing with this head on. Work has had some major challenges and changes and it’s become a very unpleasant place to work. William believes I must leave this place soon as it’s effecting my health and taking up too much time of “OUR” time together. The reality is that I do earn good, but that cannot be why I stay. William has a fantastic career, he also has challenges but his life is way more balanced than mine.
I have in past posts mentioned about my family, and the complete breakdown of communications etc. my eldest brother and myslef have had a strained relationship but we have always tried to just make it work.
About 6weeks back he emailed me and informed me about the holiday plans. William was included in this,however that’s not how I saw it. He knows William and he could have asked William and myslef together about the plans. Or asked what we were planning. The plans are actully predetermined, his plans no one else’s, and here again we as the Gay brother and his partner must just fit in.
William is always calm and thinks very logically and does suffer from slight compulsive obsessive behavior, got very pissed off. We were told when we must fly out as my family live a good 4 hour flight away. We also cannot stay with my parents or my brother and his family if we went. However it was not an invite but more of a “you will do this” one way conversation. My brother has never really taken to William and we know he is uncomfortable that I am a Gay Man. And it’s not that William have been together 5 minutes is 12 years plus.
I emailed and said we not joining them for the holidays, I got the normal emotional black mail. “But we so looking forward to seeing you”
We did not respond.
my whole point is this. William and myslef have a house that we cannot just leave for a couple of days without getting someone to look after. Our two cats who are children to us, need to be taken to Kattery. The one we use is close by and they offer the most amazing facilities. That’s not the point, it breaks Williams heart when we drop them off. Plus this little “family visit for the holidays” is going to cost us. Airfares for this time are more than double, we have to hire a car and get our OWN ACCOMADATION.
Is it just me but do most families view the gay sons, gay brother, gay sister as people who don’t have responsibilities AND a LIFE. William is of the opinion that my family still does except me as being gay, and by this they feel very uncomfortable with William. He is just a person who is normal, has a great career, love me, and has given me a great life and then he is just a PERSON.
To my family, get over yourself your actions have deeply hurt me and I do have my own family.