How important is sex in a relationship?


In any relationship, good ones, bad ones, average one, new ones and ones that are years in the making, sex is part of this. Now how good is the sex is dependent on each relationship.

Being a gay man, the perception that all gay men have Sex 24 hours a day. That’s all we are interested in according to many who actully do know the gay community. Plus the gay community has also done some bad Public Relations to us as section of the world wide community. That been said, it’s just my view point.

now if I am going to write a blog about this, I have to be honest and this is my story. When I met William he was 19, I was 24. My hormones were “balanced”, not sure about Williams. William was obsessed with me to the point of being creepy in a way when we first met, and this was after maybe 2 hours. Honest I never thought I had a change with this man, he was tall well built, a great ass, and let’s be real he was 19 and grew up in the country, what did we have in common. This did not stop us, we had sex after only knowing each other maybe 5 hours. Prior to this I was in a very serious relationship, with a very serious man, who unfortunately believed in cheating.

I was not into one night stands. Who knew what happened that night I met William. And in being honest, the sex was horrible, we were fumbling around and it was awkward. I am short legged and William is 6 foot plus. He is a big man, and I am well shortish and not A muscular build guy. In my mind I thought that was important. How dumb was I.image

Our relationship soon progressed to a very intensive and serious within weeks. We spend all our spare time together and became a couple for use of a better word. William was studying and within 5 months officially moved in with me. We had a very physical relationship yet both William and myslef are not into public displays of affection. Yet the sex was still not great, it was still rather awkward and I was scared of intimacy.

I suddenly had to get use to this man living with me who I was incredibly attracted to physically. Their was a lot to like, and it did not help that he liked sleeping naked and was very comfortable with his own body. Unlike me.

After a year into our relationship which was very volatile and we still had egos that we believed were more important than the real meaning of being together. I can remember it as if it was yersterday when I said to William on a Tuesday night that we needed a holiday, he got all excited and as we discussed places we were thinking of we suddenly said let’s go to Spain. A week later we headed off on a holiday that included 8  flights, we visited Spain, Dubai and spend a weekend in Paris. Now I cannot explain this at all, but the sex moved from average to earth moving. Being away from home sure helps our intimacy.

Its now being 13 years since I met William, our sex is more intimate, more intense and no longer hurried. We still have this immense physical attrition towards each other. We are 100% monogomy in our relationship. We once tried to have a three way, well it did not work out at all. We both too selfish with each other, William is an amazing lover and it’s not sex it’s so much more.

Now to sum up. Yes sex is important as I belive it builds a bond, it also mirrors other parts of any relationship: communication, respect, understanding and commitment. Now with every realtionship you have to work on everything all the time. Make an effort, look good for the other person. Now sex is not the Holy Grail of a relationship, but a big part of it. Have a good week all.


Ivan ( unashamedly an admirer of a good butt)





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