An update of sorts.

 

I have  been lazy and busy so have not written in some time.

Nothing exciting has been happening in our household. However William has been studying to write more exams for further accreditation. He hold two degrees but is doing some more exams for his career. I think he will be moving away from corporate and setting up something for himself soon. So the last two months have been rather housebound for us.

Its tough but it something he enjoys immensely. So exams are in a couple of weeks. So I just keep myself busy and enjoy the solitaire of a fairly quiet house. It’s only when one of our furry children causing some havoc that we realize how peaceful and tranquil it is to be still and shut the world out.

Its taken a toll on our sex life, but that’s just one of the downsides but it’s not permanent.

I was also slipping into my dark place of depression however I found a new therapist and must say I feel as if this time I am victor over my depression. It’s something I have had my entire life, but knowing this and confronting it head on is half the battle won. It’s has not helped that I am still very estranged from part of my family. But it’s good for me. I cannot be held responsible for the past actions of my father. Turns out he is one big hypocritical man. All my childhood I battled to get his attention or love in the way I saw it. Now it’s completely gone, I am sad no more. Keep your money, pretentious as you, you not  part of me anymore. The reality is I may never see my parents again in my life, and as I type these words it does make me sad. However for my own sanity I need to do this. William has been a rock of support. He says very little but listens and makes no judgments. However he is the first to admit that this son, dad realtionship was toxic. My brother who actully had a problem with my sexual orientation most of my life, is now suddenly more of a brother than he has ever even.

why do we get judged but our own families?  The bottom line is that William and myslef are really very happy. Yes we have our challenges and it’s tough keeping a relationship healthy. Plus two men living together does have challenges and benefits. But sometimes I ask less questions and just enjoy what it really is. William honestly looks after me in so many ways. He may not get me flowers or be that romantic in the Fairytale way, he does so much more. His thing is laundry and for Thai am so greatful. He gets therapy from washing and sorting clothes. This big guy folding up our underwear is so bizarre to see. It’s sweet. And he is so ungay in many other ways.

He has set up all the lights in our house to come on automatically and that’s his big thing, technology. Now that may sound normal, well is it normal that when I get up at 4:30 in the morning the lights come on automatically in the kitchen so I can make coffee. He even set up a new tv for mr in the kitchen complete with a new Apple TV so I can listen to my music or watch a YouTube clip. I have noticed that I have taken many things for granted about William, he just does so much I never noticed. It’s the small stuff mostly. But it’s also the fact that I think he worships the ground I walk on!!!! Think not as he always keeps me very grounded. Nothing really ruffles him, he is most times very calm and a gentle giant.

Make this week ahead a great one. Ivan

 


3 thoughts on “An update of sorts.

  1. Hello! I relate to this post in many ways. We’ve been so busy this summer it’s been extremely difficult to keep a regular writing schedule. I’m glad that you have a strong support system in your partner. I’ve been pretty lucky with family and friends accepting who I am today, as a gay man, but things remain cloudy with my father. He seems warm and welcoming, but then you hear comments and other things done in passing. Remember to take care of you. If you’re happy and healthy, others will catch on and deal with it; whether they like it or not. Keep hanging in, man!

    cheers,

    1. Thanks for the post. Sometimes life slips by but it’s what we make of it. To me I would rather be at home on my iPad or doing something else, as long as William is also home. Never thought I would say this but he completes me in so many ways and has me me a stronger independent person. Family well it’s always a challenge but we Doha e a choice if we want them in our lives. I have been away from my entire family for a good 15 years now. So it’s less painful but still hurts in some way. Take care Ivan.

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