Longevity of a relationship. How I see it.

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Let’s face it – being with someone takes time, energy and effort. Relationships don’t “just happen”, which is why most people consider them to be special in the first place.

If you are fortunate to have been in a longer term  relationship, you will at some point have the feeling that things are dull, too routine and not exiting enough.

Well that may be true however you have to always up your game, all the time.

Work is work, love is love:

We all need to work however sometimes we get obsessed with work and our careers. This could lead to the single life. Nobody deserves to play second to a career, or the pursuit of money and status. Yes we all have to work, just make time for your loved one.

Go on dates:

William and I have been together for over 12 years now. He was 19 when we started dating. So we cannot be the same people we were in the beginning but we can still have dates. Sometimes it’s nothing formal, meeting after work to do some shopping. Having a date night at home.  We actully have had a standing date night, Friday’s. Comfort food, movies or just having an early night. Sometimes it’s good to step out of the comfort zone and do something spontaneously TOGETHER.

Turn off the iPhone, iPad, Apple TV, and maybe the TV:

I am the first to admit I am addicted to my iPad and William’s phone is always close by. Sometimes these distractions can be very unhealthy as we don’t talk or interact or worse, listen to each other. It’s not very attractive and sexy when you more attractive to your electronics.

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Kiss for real:

When last did kiss and really mean it. In the early days of our realtionship we were very passionate, very physical and yet nerdy. Now we are more comfortable and confident with each other. However we may just not kiss like we use to. We are both not into PDA’s but I like to touch William when I can, just hold his hand or hug him at random when we home. William is not like me but that okay as that’s who he is.

Take care of your appearance:

In the early days, we both were more aware of our appearance with each other. That honeymoon period. Now we are more relax and contend. However that does not mean you have to ignore your appearance. Over weekends we seldom shave, and to me that’s super sexy. We can lay around at home in pajamas, sloppy pants or no pants. They must be clean and not old and scruffy. Make an effort to look good. Cut your hair regularly, shave, use aftershave and my thing is good underwear. Nothing more off putting that getting out of bed in the morning to make coffee and you have holes in those old stained underwear. Make an effort.

Change routines and roles:

Routines are great, in fact I am a huge follower of this. But sometimes you can sleep in the spare room, or last minute take the day off work and both stay in bed the whole day. Take a unplanned road trip.  William and myslef have taken a number of road trips and for us this is the best time for us to talk and laugh. I am the shopper in our relationship, however William of late is doing the grocery shopping because of my work hours. It’s switched up our whole eating routine. We now eating different foods and trying other stuff. In any relationship one person usually takes on very specific roles, like looking after the paperwork, finances, packing the dishwasher etc.

Dont take advantage of this and maybe change you whole routine. Boring it may be by a change can be as good as holiday. Well not really.

 

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Romance, make an effort. 

In the early stages of any relationship romance is on steroids. Cute little gifts, weekends away, flowers, gifts and all things goffy. As time passes so does the romance, but we must step it up. Leave a hand written note in his bag, send an email de airing what makes your love so special. You don’t have to spend money on expensive gifts, make breakfast and eat it in bed. Make time for intimacy, now that may be easier said. Life takes on a whole new timetable when you running a home, got a career and other commitments. But sex is sex, well actually not. With the longevity of any realtionship, sex and intimacy can and will be less frequent. However I am a firm believer that sex gets better the longer you with someone. Now our realtionship is one of monogamy and it ain’t boring. But all people differ, so no judgment at all. Take a bath together and for me foreplay can start in the early morning by squeeze Wiiliams butt. Sending innocent but sexy text messages during the day.

Now I am a very sexual person so for me just holding hands for me is intimacy as well as a passionate night of steamy Windows!! Make an effort.

And lastly, sleep:

This last point may seem a bit odd but work with me for a moment. Sleep is perhaps one of the most underrated life areas that’s talked about yet it is key to successful relationships.

Here’s why.

First, when both of you are well rested, you are less irritable and less likely to get on one another’s nerves. Second, you will look more attractive. That may sound vein but it’s totally true. This means you means more energy for your relationship, which may translate into greater intimacy.

Ivan

 

 


5 thoughts on “Longevity of a relationship. How I see it.

  1. Awesome post! My husband and I are going on five years together. Married for the past two years. We’ve always been pretty easy going and low maintenance, but we’re noticing the changes for sure! We realize it’s all part of growing together and definitely keep all areas exciting haha.

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