Compromise (Realtionships 1:4) the way I see it.

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You won’t always agree with your partner so it’s important to be able to find a middle ground where you both feel you’ve been heard. Not agreeing on everything doesn’t spell doom for the relationship; it’s normal because you’re still individuals. After all, you weren’t looking for a clone of yourself to have a relationship with! Our differences make us who we are. Your partner’s unique qualities are what attracted you to him or her in the first place.

I am very strong willed, and can be stubborn. Initially when William and I got together is was not a problem. I think we can refer this as a honeymoon period. However the belive “it’s my way or no way” spells disaster. The way William packed the dishwasher could result in a very heated argument. And as I write this I realize how stupid and totally insane this was. I had to learn to compromise, to allow the other person to be who they were.

Now it works both ways. Our biggest challenge was when we bought this house. We both had very different ideas of what type, design, size of house we wanted. In the end we actully bought a house that we both had said we would not consider. We did not want an older house, a big house in the suburbs with the quiet live.  We both just expanded our choices and broadened our minds. William and both battled to ad part to living in our “new Joint home”. Suddenly we had to grow up, take responsibility and behaviour like men.  Our egos got in the way. This led to some speculator arguments, cruel words being exchanged and we both hurt each other unnecessary.

The irony in this, is that should we not have experienced these raw moments, we would not be who we are today as indidiviual and as a couple.

Now the way I see it, and this is from my bleary eyes, what I have learnt.

What causing great conflict can be avoided by adapting ones behaviour, or in our case by having our own bathrooms, (that’s another entry).

When something annoys you and YOU can change it, DO IT.  I have a bad habit of not putting the car keys on the key rack. William has just stopped getting upset about this and just hangs the keys in the cupboard. We can also compromise to a point, when family is visiting and want to stay 3 three weeks, it’s insane to compromise for your partner when you know that taking it too far. Family can stay a week maximum.

Lastly as we both very differnt person, we do compromise and allow each other to be who we are. Sometimes we also need to allow each other time to just be, if we work together and respect each other sometimes we don’t need compromise as we can be the team, the United force or just some crazy boys in love who can still drive each other crazy.

 

IVAN.


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