The Longevity of a Relationship. The way I see it.

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William and myslef have been together nearly 12 years. I was 25 and he was 19 when we met. I never really thought we would make a realtionship long term due to the age difference when we met. How wrong was I. William was a country boy, I was the city boy.

Six months later we moved in. 3 years later we moved out of the city to the peaceful tree filled suburban side of town. Close to where I grew up. All was good, well not so good. We battled to get on with each others families, they both so different.  William also took up a new challenge, drink until you can stand no more. William is an alcoholic. This nearly ended our relationship. And when you least except it, life throws a curve ball. William went to seek help, and has now been sober, close to 7 years. Thats when it all changed.

We went for theraphy, support groups and along the way we did change our outlook on life, our definition of our own selfs and ultimately our relationship. Was a rocky path.

I had this underlyng though that William, being younger would leave me. He suddenly came into his own. He stated working on himself, taking care of himself. What it was is that he actully grew up. Giving up alcohol changed not only who he was but also his entire life. He lost weight started working out and yes men do become more attractive as some men  age. He was one of these lucky people.

Our sex life was nothing exciting, in fact it frooze.

Now with the time and age and hopefully wisdom, i was able to establish myslef as my own person. Not the parner of William, but Ivan an indidiviual.

It was about a year after William had stopped drinking and we had planned a holiday that we both wanted to cancel. We hardly talked. However we decided to go. Its amazing was a 12 hour flight does, forces you to acknowledge that person. That holiday we took 7 flights in two weeks. And suddenly we both where  away from our own home and had to be 24/7 with each.  It was one of our best holidays.

I realised that if William did something that really peed me off, i could ignore it, change my own attitude and the biggest lesson, accept William for who he is. He still does not pack the dishwasher the way I would. BUT he does pack it and unpack it. He is incredibly good to me. Sometimes I feel he worships the quick sand I walk on.  He also tells me when I am wrong. He keeps me grounded.

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Now I cannot see the world from his eyes, and he not mine. But its a true gift to witness each others lives.

Today we live in an amazing home, that is filled with love. We have two cats we adore. We LIKE being with each other. Weekends can come and go and its just us. William does his things and I mine. I am the one who repacks the clothes, he is the one that will take care of all our filing, insurance, banking etc. we have similiar interest yet are still so different.

We alow for the other peson to be, I accept his family as does he of mine.  Its called scarifice. Now we are not one of those couples who shop together, go with each other  to everything like doctors appointments, thats not our thing.  What works for us is that i will go shopping and William never minds what I buy and truly we never agrue over money.  We talk alot.

Longevity is a journey, so when the road becomes difficult, dont always give up it may just be a temporary detour. William and myslef both belive in much the same values, and thats a huge starting pont, plus William has manners and treats me well. He will always say thank you, please and does generally behaviour like a gentleman. Sometimes its good to not be the gentlemen!!!!

Our intimate realtionship is better than its ever been and our sex life is completly off the scales.   This belive that sex after a certain period gets boring, for me thats an untruth and we still remain faithful as thats actully the biggest belive we have. Dont be in a realtionship, if you still want to play outside of this. Someone will get hurt. Relationships are constantly changing, so evolve yourself and put in the effort.

 

Ivan.

 

 


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