Relationships: Open ones, it’s your choice.

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I read a blog the other day about open relationships.  This blogger was not in favor of the good old fashioned one man relationships. His view was similar to mine, once you settle down you cannot keep the door open to the possibilities of other romances.  

What the point actually about getting into any relationship with the view of having an “open” one. Maybe I am just different but then remain single. I see lots of hurt and pain that may be inflicted on to other’s. A relationship is not about sex, it’s about so much more. Don’t get me wrong sex is a huge factor and can be a strong part of any relationship. Nothing better than good sex, and that does not happen just when you meet. It takes time to get to know each other and to be real comfortable with each other.
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William is a very sexual person however he is incredibly shy. He is also one of the most complex people I have ever met. Honest and incredibly genuine. He is no bullshitter. William was also blessed with good looks, height ( I am short legged), a great ass and body that I find very manly.  

His shyness does not hind the strong willed person who has very high values. He expects the same. Early on in our relationship he would call me out if I spoke badly of his friends of family. So to me this person has many fascist beyond the physical attributes. In the early part of our relationships, sex was awkward and not always that great. With time you just get better more comfortable with each other and it’s never boring.  William and myself are not into any other forms of self pleasure that some may enjoy, bondage, role playing, group activities etc.  it’s very vanilla. Not to say we are prudish, a good porn can still light up the stage.  

However I am not blind and see other attractive men, however that’s all it is. I choose not to pursuit others. To me it just gets complicated and way to difficult to lie. That’s just how I see it and my choice. 

William is cynical about most things, but he is actually just a country boy with high values and honesty. That honesty can be a lot to deal with at times.

The overall difference that I see it is that we still like spending time together even if he is in the study and I am reading in the tv room. We both remain very much individuals and don’t need each other for support when we go shopping, buying clothes, cooking and all those domestic joys. However we have over the years realized we each need our own bathroom. Seldom cook together as we both too stubborn doing this together. We actually work well together and still share a bath or a shower, swim naked, love to lie naked in the jacuzzi/hot tub. What more do we need. Just each other. Ivan


7 thoughts on “Relationships: Open ones, it’s your choice.

  1. I second your thoughts about open relationships. When I came to US for the very first time few months back (which was also the first time Nick and I were apart for months, virtually having a long distance), I had this crazy idea of open relationship. I made some grave mistakes and I still regret those. Our 3 year old relationship almost came at the verge of a breakup because of that. But Nick handled everything in a very mature way, and I had my lesson.
    Now this is my second visit to US (for 6 months stay), and I believe that thought of open relationships was just a phase. I wanted to see how it feels like to be in an open relationship and I got it over with. On the brighter side, it strengthened the fact that how much madly I am in love with my darling Nick.

    Your blog gives me inspiration and hope.

    Cheers to both of you guys !!!

    Rhys πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  2. I always love reading about yours and William’s relationship, as it gives me hope that not all gay men out there are constantly on the prowl.. even when they’ve got the ‘love of their life’ waiting for them at home.

    I too think that once you’re in a relationship, what’s the point in continuing to look around for something new. Monogamy clearly isn’t as dead in the gay community as the so-called majority would like us to think. πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks for the reply. To be honest. The longer you with someone the better the sex can be. Its all your own doing to be honest. Whats the point in making live complicated or to the have the status that says ” its complicated”. WTF. Anyway keep on working on relationships is a hard job but worth it. Ivan.

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