Sex starved gay couples, is it a mith?


So so it’s been said that men love sex and so gay men should by default then have plenty of sex. Guys are always wanting it. Well maybe the media projects that all gay men love sex and have it a lot.

That may be true, I am not the expert who can speak on behalf of the entire gay community.  However what I can say that in any long term relationship, the sex may decline, completely end, or remain very healthy.

As with all relationships, the honeymoon period of first meeting does create a very sexual electrification within us all. Well it should. We are mutually attracted to each other and so this should result in a lot of awkward first time awkward sex.  Thereafter with time you get completely tuned and enjoy lots of amazing passion.

And then life happens, work, family, domestic life, etc etc. and maybe you are now sharing a home together. The passion is still very much alive but you are now settled.

The biggest challenge is when you become friends, family to each other and no longer lovers. This may be the sign that the relationship is over. Or not!  As with any relationship the beginning is a challenge and then we seem to put less effort in when we become too complacent with each other.

Do you remember what you found sexy about that person when you first met. With the years our bodies also change, however that should not change how you actually feel and care about that person. Love is a dirty four letter word. Use it wisely. To me William has a sexy walk, he walks with a presence, totally unaware of this. he is tall and his body is well proposing. With me I am short and I am very aware that I have a great looking bum. Know who you are and be HUMBLE. take care of yourself, shave, cut your hair and make an effort. Nothing worse than having a romantic night in and you both still in your night shirts from this morning.

Now to say that all gay men are just Olympic sexual beings is a huge misconception.  We all have times when we not in the mood, or completely out of sync with our partners sexually. Then there is the fact that one person maybe more sexual than the other. Fact Fact !

Gay men may also have more sexual issues than our counterparts. Acceptance of being who we are sometimes is a long journey. And along the way we may be exposed to drugs, drinking and more.  It’s complex being Gay. Well for me it is. It goes against what we were taught, against some religions. Now try to deal with normality in your own life.

Now for me and I speak from my own experience only: during the period that William and myself have been together (11 years), we have experience periods were we less sexual and periods when we very sexual. Times when I have truly not wanted any contact with William. Yet we have both remained sexual men. Our schedules differ with work commitments and family commitments. Now that’s also a fact, but not a reality that created our desire for sex to be sidetracked. We are monogamous and to be in your face, our sex is better now than ever, we know each other and our love for each other is deep and we deeply committed to each other.

Sure the honeymoon is over but not our lives.  Make an effort.


2 thoughts on “Sex starved gay couples, is it a mith?

  1. Totally agree with your views on this 100% Ivan. John and I have been together over 20 years. Sure we’re out of sync at times sexually and I think it’s normal. We are in a monogamous and very committed to each other as well. Do we have our misunderstandings or arguments, sure, who doesn’t. Doesn’t mean we respect each other less. In fact we respect ourselves even more to being able to discuss any issues we have. Difficult at times but we must make the effort to be who we are. Case in point that I am a naturist and John is not. Thankfully, he loves me for who I am and vice-versa. Hugs. Fabien

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