Looks may fade, manners don’t.

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I have a couple  of gay men who work were I do.  They vary in age from early to 20’s to late 40’s I guess.

I was chatting to one guy, he is single and desperate!  He wants a relationship, to be a part of a couple, however is his concept and believes on what this relationship must be that got me thinking. He is looking for looks, the body, the complete exterior of a person. He is so adamant on the NO’s of what he does not want that I wonder if he is distancing himself from any relationship.

He meet someone the other day who I believe was a good person, however as this person is in a better financial position and earns more cash it was a big deal breaker. The looks can fade, the body can get older, but what makes a true person is constant. Seems that I have been out of the dating world too long.

So back to Mr single looking, All I can do is observe and listen.  To me he is no longer lonely but hollow inside. May sound harsh but that’s how I see it. William works with a guy we though we would introduce Mr single too. William very quickly realized this was not going to work either, Mr single will not date anybody older.  It’s good to know what you want however as a gay man I think we should stop judging and discrimination our own “tribe”.

For me yes it great look as at good looking man. That same man may snore at night, he may also be a total arrogant ass. What I like in a person is manners, character. To this day William always treats me with respect, thanks me when I have made him coffee, etc etc.  that tells me more about a person than anything else. William can also be moody and difficult as I am as well. We both have changed in the last 11 plus years, but I still think William has a great bum, and an even better mind.

So Mr single, I hope you meet someone, someday, that you not all cynical and twisted inside. The way you are today is not a very pleasant person. Ivan.


4 thoughts on “Looks may fade, manners don’t.

  1. Great blog Ivan. John and I have been together for 20 years and married 11 of those. We are eleven years apart (I am 52 and he is 63). We have our differences certainly as is the case with all couples but only now, after so many years are we having more open dialog on our wants and needs. For me of course is the freedom of being nude and start socializing with other nudists. This is not for John and I wouldn’t impose that on him. Many of our couple friends are straight. It seems that we don’t have anything in common with other gay couples we may know as acquaintances. Is it the generation gap, perhaps. Being single in the gay community is not easy. Putting too many restrictions on finding the perfect “one” is a fantasy. Nobody is perfect either in looks, intelligence or with financial means. We have to look deeper in each of us to appreciate what is really there. A heart and as you say, character. I hope your co-worker finds what he’s looking for. All the best, Fabien.

  2. I totally agree with you.. As great as it is to look at beautiful men, if they don’t possess somewhat decent manners (I’m not perfect, so neither should they) or other gentlemanly qualities, it then deflects and withdraws my attraction to them.

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