In the beginning.


I have been been reading a number of blogs of late, and subjects is love, lack of love, lack of a partner and the hook ups.  I got lucky when I met William.  My younger self had other goals, the career, the material possessions, money and this idea of what a partner was. How wrong I was on all of these “concepts of life”. I am not saying I gave up on dreams. I started living in the real world. The world that is not always so kind, for me who is a yes or a no person, this also did not work 100%. Suddenly life outside in the world, and not in my head, were very different.

I dated Peter from my late teens, he was 5 years older, wiser, successful, and offered me the world. My family adored Peter, this well spoken, highly educated, smart man. Peter encouraged me to study, He showed me the world. Took me to places I never knew existed. Our relationship became a long distance one, now maybe due to this I grew up, or I just started seeing more clearly. Peter is truly someone I still love and admire. (He also had a cute butt). We were just not meant to be together. My idea of a relationship, slowly changed. Money became less important, trust, honestly and faithful was what I wanted.

From the outside, Peter was just that person everybody liked or wanted to be. I just did not want to be with him for my life.


After graduating, I did not join our family business and this I think was a huge disappointment. I may have been wrong, but I wanted my own life. I was also struggling to accept who I was and my family thought my lifestyle was wrong. We come from a very religious family.  I wanted to walk in the sand and make my own footprintWhen my whole family relocated business, and all to a new city, I never joined them. I threw myself into my new career. This was it, well I had convinced myself that it was. I was focused on the end game. I lost many friends because of this obsession I had to succeed. I played hard and became very social, this was to hide my hurt and betrayal.

Without notice, without even thinking clearly I agreed to go out on a Monday night. Just for a drink with a girl I hardly knew. I drove to the other side of the city, I walked into this very noisy place that was mainly students. I was negotiating with myself, one drink then go home. We started talking and eventually found a table outside were I could have a smoke. This girl, Joanne, was a lecturer and the university close by, so that why we landed up were we did. The evening soon passed, and as I was about to leave, a student who  had clearly been drinking vast amounts of beer, spilled a beer all over me.

This nearly drunken guy was way taller than me and a lot bigger than me. I am short legged. Visions of waking up in an emergency room raced in my mind. Instead this guy was very apologetic and offered to get me a beer. I left and headed home.

Next morning I get a call from this same guy who though I needed a beer bath the nigh before. His name was William.


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