Doing things together, the way I see it. So being in a same sex relationship, for over 11 years, things can become complainant, boring, routine, what you expect. Now that may sound beige, but to me it not. You know the person, you should know yourself as well.
However you have not become one person. We don’t dress the same, we are still two very different people. William has a strong personality, so do I. But we have learnt to walk away from stuff, compromise, and respect each other.
One of the major factors in our relationship is that we are both independent on our own. We don’t HAVE to do everything together. We may choice to some activities like shopping together, cleaning the house is a team exercise. Early in relationship, we came to the conclusion that we cannot cook together. What we did find out that we work very well as a team. I will pack the dishwasher, William will make tea and clean the counter tops. It may sound very trivial however it’s actually not. We respect each other and allow the other person to just be. Plus what I have learnt is that MY WAY IS NOT THE ONLY WAY.
We cohabit well together, I can sit in the study with William while he does work and I can read. We don’t have to speak. I also don’t have to ask if I can go to the shops, visit friends or visit my family. I am allowed to be who I am.
However, in all of this, I have also make a commitment, to be with William, to be honest, respectful, faithful and to always take into consideration him. I cannot do my own thing financially if it’s going to affect US. SO as much as I am an individual, I am also in a partnership, relationship, marriage, or what ever you want to define it. It’s not about me but us. The way I see it don’t loose yourself, but also don’t become too self obsessed. Work on a relationship, and never take anything for granted. We both say thank you to each other, and mean it. Acknowledge the other person, and respect that we both have strong personalities.
Now William and I have had some bad days, challenges with alcohol and addiction. Money worries, family difficulties, communication challenges. We are in the position now were we actually like being together. We are comfortable with each other, and enjoy doing things together, some more than other. Now the boring, routine, beige works for us. It’s great to be comfortable with someone that you can walk around naked, not shave, look like a scary crow when we wake up. So, while William is asleep I look forward to this day together. Each day is an adventure as we still talk and do have lots if fun. this is the life we have chosen, we are not the clubbing, parting boys. Ivan