The way I see it when looking for a partner.

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So when I was single I had a wish list of who I wanted, what they would like like, and the list goes on of my perfect partner. Actually I just wanted someone to like me.

I wanted someone older, William is younger.

I wanted someone who was a Doctor, Dentist, Lawyer, William is a IT genius.

I wanted someone wealthy, William is working class like me.

To be honest I never wanted any of the above, but I wanted someone to like me.

The way I see it, we have expectations of what we are looking for in a boyfriend, partner, but in reality we have no idea who may cross our paths. One thing I do know is that when you meet someone, make sure that you like them. Now what I mean is that love is lust in the beginning, and all is perfect. But and this is how I see it, can you talk. Do things together. Trust each other. Be your own person. Live together. Respect each other. Like comes before love.

Now for me, William was all the opposites, and someone I never imaged I would want to or WOULD BE with. But we got to know each other and the like turned to someone more. William is very wise, and he believes that when you get to know someone you can then only love that person. Lust and love are not the same thing.

Lets be honest, lust, intimacy is amazing, but you need more a lot more actually, to stay together.
You need a foundation, to build a life together. Longevity. Plus both William and I have changed, evolved as we have aged, and we are fortunate, very fortunate that we still like each other. When you 24, you can party all night, however at 35 not so much. And lets be honest, we all have to grow up, I never said we became boring. However we changed and we both liked how the other person changed.

So when you looking for a boyfriend, partner, just remember that this could be the person you grow older with. Longevity.

When I first met William, I never imaged him being sick. I never thought about the drunken nights, I never thought about anything when we first met. However we both took a change and so far so good, it has worked out damn good, I am grateful everyday. It has not been a smooth journey. William is an alcoholic so I had a three way relationship, William,the alcohol and myself. However William is sober. That’s who I am with. I cannot change him, and he puts up with me and that in itself is worth an award. That was my choice when I decided to be his boyfriend, the good the unknown and the ugly.

William is a good man, he has never been violent with me, he has screamed at me, got angry, upset, mad but never hit me. He always has my back, and he is always honest with me. Even when I am wrong he tells me.

So they way I see it, when you hook up with someone, just think could this be someone you write a chapter of your life with. Being gay, I think we put more pressure on appearance, looks and our bodies. They way I see it, there is nothing wrong with looking after yourself but vanity is only skin deep.

Looks go, but great qualities don’t. So maybe look beyond the looks and give someone a change and get to know them. In my elementary mind, I thought William was not in my league he is tall, pleasant on the eye. He intimidated me actually. However when you get to know the substance of a person, then you can truly see who they are.

Each day when I go to sleep, I feel safe. I know my life is worth something as someone is witnessing my life.

That’s how I see it…. Ivan


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