I have mixed feelings about Pride. I am proud of my gayness every day I walk out my front door and into the world. I love my identity. Why should I need a weekend to celebrate that? Are the other 51 weekends full of shame? I feel it’s great all the LGBT community members come out and enjoy themselves and feel supported. But on Monday, everyone goes back to feeling marginalized and oppressed.
I have never been to a pride event. Yes judge me. Before I met William, I had a group of friends who loved going to pride. Some would dress up and go all out. I never felt comfortable going. So I was pressurized into attending, but then I would never want to go with under those circumstances.
After I met William, we went away during pride month. And then the one year we decided to go, however William went on a huge bender the Friday before. So we never went. To be honest the only reason William wanted to go was to drink. Being an alcoholic, it was all that he focused on.
Now being sober that one of the reasons we DON’T go. William and I had a frank discussion about pride, a year or so after he was sober. He never wanted to go, and the only reason he wanted to go was to please me. You see William does not like crowds and being hit on. William and I have never really being part of the club and bar circuit in the gay community. Odd you may think as he was a drinker. However we did go to clubbing a couple of times. The one time we went with one of our good friends who lives in another city, when we went to visit her. Without going in to detail, William and myself were having a great time, but then he was being hit on, and not in a suttle way. The guy could see we were together but kept on flirting and touching, and when he grabbed William ass, that’s when William lost it. William does not like being touched, pawed an especially his ass.
The whole experience was unpleasant and when we headed to another club, he was being hit on again. William does not feel comfortable when all he is perceived as being a “Piece of Meat”.
I am in now way judging anybody, but as a gay man and as a gay man in a committed relationship, I do want equality. I want shared benefits, to be recognized as the legal partner, to be able to marry, adopt children, to have choices. To be treated the same as others. I want no special treatment, I was acceptance.
Now many people will not agree with me, but I live my life for myself. I don’t advertise my gayness, we live in the suburbs were we are the only gay couple in our street, in our suburb. We don’t have a huge colorful flag, advertising who we are. We just want to be left alone. But we are part of the village of gay people worldwide and believe that all must enjoy what we have. We are lucky that our relationship is recognized in the eyes of the law.
So we may not go to Pride marches, go on men only cruises, attend the local bar. I am different, I am gay, so why the hell must I now loose my individuality. We are all different.
Enjoy pride, I applause your efforts and courage…..