Infidelity…

Infidelity (also referred to as cheating, adultery, or having an affair) is the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms and this violation results in feelings of sexual jealousy and rivalry (Leeker & Carlozzi, 2012). The violation can be sexual in nature, for example involving kissing, sexual fondling, vaginal intercourse, or anal intercourse with another individual outside of the relationship, or emotional in nature, for example sharing intimate thoughts, expending great amounts of trust or other emotional resources with an individual outside of the relationship (ibid.)
This is the description as per wikipedia.
Now before you all judge me this is my view point, no judgement on anybody.

I don’t understand open relationships. My first boyfriend, is in a open relationship now. He has a very sexy young boyfriend, so I ask why. Now my ex has a very high sex drive and is a very sexual person, he is however also a very intelligent guy, blessed with good looks and charm. Now his current relationship is under 2 years, but it seems that they are very open about seeing other people. Maybe that’s why our relationship did not last.

Is this not a dangerous game, someone is bound to get hurt. To me it’s a very sacred bond being with someone one, the same person. Sure you may get bored, but then you can try to do things different. Break the routine, talk more, cook a meal together, what ever you can.

Now for William and myself, we both love and look forward to is going away, we have only once been on holiday with Williams parents, otherwise it’s just us. However we really enjoy being on our own doing what we want and not having to take care of other people. We actually enjoy each other company, we don’t have to speak, we don’t have to fuss over each other, we can just be.

So infidelity is not just about sex, it’s about being intimate in conversation, spending time with another person that is not normal if you are involved. It’s also about sex, lets be honest.

William and I have built a life together, we have shared benefits, a home together, we also are each others significant other in the law and in other people eyes. So if we decided to stray, surely we would have realized that our relationship has run it’s course, or we have fallen out of love. It happens, but I don’t get open relationship. But that how I see it, and we are all allowed to see things differently.

Lastly, I was cheated on in one of my prior relationship. Maybe that’s why I see things they way I do.

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Now the gay community has been subjected to lots of bad publicity as far as infidelity, open relationships, promiscuity, unprotected sex, etc etc. Now how true is this of an entire community is up for debate. Maybe as gays men, we can hook up for one nighters easier, maybe it’s what has been projected and instilled on us. However I don’t think this is a true reflection of gay men. All to their own.

Ivan


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