How did we get here, part 2

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I am a gay male and a gay man. I like men, gay men. I am not unique, I am not the only gay person in the village. What does make me different is my choices, my views and my outlook. I do not have to agree with a the majority, but there is something called solidarity. On this agree, we must all stand together on matters that effect us all, not just gay issues but issues that effect our neighborhood, our work conditions, our state, our country and global matters as well. One voice can make a difference but a united society will ensure that change is carried out.

Being a gay man, I have chosen a partner who is just as much a man as most men, he can however have his camp moments. His presence is the first thing you would probably notice about William, he is just under 6ft, and has a naturally big built. He is not a gym fanatic but does do exercise. He has been blessed with good hair, skin and may not be model material, he is a good looking man. Now I am not blessed with height, but would not be on the cover of any magazine in the future, but I am okay with body and looks. I am stocky, well that’s what I get told.

Being gay, many people assume we are all feminine, raging high pitched voice drama queens. Well we ain’t. In our village we have so many different people that its not good to label us. We are queer and deal with that, but don’t stereotype gay people, men and women. Within the gay culture we have varied people who may not be attached to some other gay folk. It’s when a straight person say but he/she is gay and so are you, you must totally hook up. It does not work that way, well sometimes it could. We are all different, as our the entire human race, from religion, color, traditions, etc etc.

I think gay people are very misunderstood, and maybe the media has portrayed us in a very specific type cast role.

Some issues, the way I see it;

On gay marriage, I am glad I have the option to marry, but we choice not to walk down that carpet. It’s a personal decision, don’t hate me for it respect my choice.

On the issue of adoption, and here I am talking adoption only. I agree that should same sex couple, or single gay people want to adopt a child I give a standing ovation for you all. If you can provide a loving home, nurture a child that be able to bring into this world a well balanced child then go for it. No patents are perfect, but the sacrifice you are making does make a difference. It’s also a personal decision and should a same sex couple want to adopt and they fit the criteria excellent. The myth that your child will turn out gay as well is so absurd. Angelina Jolie brought the adoption issue to the attention of the world, and it’s okay to adopt a child. You don’t have to be marries, straight, a celebrity, just have the want to raise a child. When a child is entrusted to you, the child protection service, child welfare, the courts must also ensure that you are able to do this. William has never wanted children, and I have mixed feelings about this issue. Maybe we are selfish, but if we going to do this both parties must be on board for this lifetime commitment.

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Gay clubbing, it’s the most amazing experience to go clubbing and party the night away.nothing beats at good gay club. And here again there are many different clubs, rave, house, clubs with dark rooms, clothing not allowed clubs, butch bear clubs, lesbian only clubs….. It’s also a place that we can meet and maybe pick up someone should we wish to. I was not a every weekend club person, but did do my share of partying, William and I also went to a couple of clubs. I
The music was awesome, loads of people and most place had a good atmosphere or vibe. Problem was that we did not always fit in with the Adonis looking guys who were shirtless and were not only eye candy but they sweated sex. I was not as brave at them. But I was a damn good party boy in my time, I never went on my own, but was often approached to have a drink, dance or something more!!! I did hook up with one guy I met at a club, but he was just on a mission to pursuit all new guys. The wham bang thank you maybe, type.

Do gay men who party a lot use too many drugs, and alcohol for pleasure. I have just read a book about the gay man who is an addict. It was rather harsh, the authors view point was that a large percentage of gay males, use recreational drugs when they party and when the have sex. The logic behind his bold statement was, lots of gay men still cannot accept they are gay and to help them get over this they take drugs for sexual needs, I am not talking Viagra. It it a very difficult time to come out and accept yourself for being a gay person, maybe there is some merit in what he said.

Still on the subject of sex, do we as gay people, guys and girls, label ourself as well. Butch, fem, active, passive, top, bottom, power bottom, versatile, twink. To me sexually compatibility is very important any relationship, gay and straight. Lets be honest some people were just not gifted for other people. It’s purely on physical make up. I know that the general view is the bigger the package the better it is, well not for all. On the flip side some men are not well endowed at all, and this can also resist sexual activity. It’s a fact that If people are not compatible in all aspects of a relationship, your chances or making it work are stacked against you. Are gay men in particular just wanted to get it on all the time, lots of men are like that full stop.

Open relationships, additional person or persons being involved. A good friend of mine was involved for many years, met someone else and they all lived together as a couple plus 1. It lasted two years. If that works for you then so be it. However on open relationships, and here some may not agree. I am totally against it. I cannot be invested in one person and know that they have a permission slip to seek other people. If you not happy with your current partner and am looking for other hook ups, maybe your relationship is not as good as it seems. Also if you have an open ticket, you will not spend as much time with your partner, as your have the thrill and excitement of other options. Do we get bored. Now some who may read this, may agree or totally disagree. That’s your view point, and I have no issue with that. My issue is that for us we are not in an open relationship. We both agree on this. Past experience of being messed around with and also meeting someone who was “single” but turns out was involved with someone for a very long time. What about the other partner. My views may be old fashion, but they mine. For us sex does get better after you are over the honeymoon period, it may be more frequent, it may be less. But it’s with someone who knows your body, you know the week spots and it can be the best sex you will ever have. After ten plus years we still have a very active sex life. And it’s good, not its the best it’s been for me.

Just be safe what ever you do. It’s natural to be a sexual person.

We are both not gym “boys” however we do have the advantage of having some equipment at our home we can use. We do look after bodies, appearance and we have a very strict eating lifestyle. Both of usage it big take out, or fast food fans. We enjoy good healthy eating as we both enjoying cooking and have over the years realized what are bad foods for us. Mine is bread, potatoes crisps, and pies, pastries to name a few. I enjoy them but my body does not react very well to too much starch. William is one of the few people I know who loves vegetables, all sorts to veggies and fruit. He is not a fun of sushi, or shelled fish. He will try something once, but then that’s it. It does he,o when you work as a team on this. I have been able to loose 24 lbs or 11 kg, in the last 8 months. I am nearly back to what I weight 15years back. My weight is currently 73.5 kg = 161.7 lbs. my goal is to loose 2more pounds, for my height and build that will be ideal weight. I have more energy and in general look younger now. It’s not an obsession, but was a choice to cut out certain comfort food and focus on getting my energy levels up. My Doctor is also one of my neighbors, and he has know me for many years, and he encouraged me to rebook my diet. He looks like a Greek God, and so it’s good to take advice from someone who is committed to there own advice they give.

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I have a thing about underwear, yes my own not other people’s. its also not a sick fetish people.I am not into jockstraps , g strings or the see thru kind of underwear. I like like the boxer type, hipsters, etc etc. the only criterial is I do need support, otherwise the boys do tend to move around and this is very uncomfortable. Without saying too much I need a little bit extra support so that the Crown Jewels don’t escape. Not all people have this problem, but I do. But I do enjoy putting on a great pair of undies, it makes me feel dressed, confident and also sexy at times. That’s maybe an over share.

The last issue that I am very passionate about is bullying, I have posted about this in prior blogs. It’s wrong, it’s wrong, and too many lives are been lost because if this. It’s hard to understand why you are been attached when you are a child, and it’s hard when you do not fit the norm, what ever that may be be. The norm is not always normal. There are great projects on this issue, It Does Get Better, the Lady Gaga foundation she has, etc. so we are trying but when a young life is ended it one too many.
Later all

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